"You wish." Yoongi kind of wished he was wearing something different. He wasn't too sure what, but, honestly? Anything other than a baggy shirt with the face of his favourite mascot would have been an improvement. Of course, he also had neither the clothes nor the muscles to compete with Cassiel where looks were concerned, so maybe it was for the best that he wasn't even trying. "Kids watch my stream, no one needs your nudity. Pervert."
If he wanted to call him 'baby', he could call him things too.
"Pfft, kids look at worse. When I was in middle school, I was so horny. I spent hours looking at hot guys online." Rolling his eyes, he shook his head, not willing to be deterred. He would turn up shirtless wherever he wanted. And he often did. Though Walmart was getting less pleased with him being shirtless in their store, he kept getting looks. "We should collab, big D. I want to actually make this music thing work, you know? But all the collab offers I have ... ehhhhh, they ain't nothing to write home about."
He wasn't looking to rap with some loser teenage boys in their bedroom or some old has-been who had no awareness or talent.
"I want to make it, you do too. We should make beautiful music together."
Yoongi was caught on him talking about looking at hot guys. Saying it that casually. He felt his face heat up again and his mind was worrying about at least five things at once. He hoped the lighting was dim enough that his blush couldn't be seen. He wondered if he was being serious or still joking. Serious about looking at hot guys? Serious about wanting to collab? Serious about having flirted with him before?
Whatever. Whatever, it didn't matter. "I don't do collabs." There, that was save to hide behind. "What are you doing?" It was weird, right? Had someone put him up to this? "Are you playing?"
He wasn't sure what this guy meant. Maybe it was a language issue, he wasn't sure. "Uh, I wanted a collab. Working together on music, you know? That's what I'm doing. I'm failing but I'm trying." Laughing with a dash on uncertainty, he stood up suddenly and carried Yoongi along on his phone as he headed towards his fridge. He definitely needed something to drink for this conversation. "I don't play with beautiful boys like you unless they ask me too. Don't worry. Come on, Yoongi, bro. I think we sound good together. I can put the whole country schtick aside for you, promise."
He pulled a beer from the fridge and set Yoongi onto his kitchen table, raising his beer in a toast to him. "I want to do something fun while I kill time, I think music is ideal for that."
"Ah, I'm not making music. I'm just dicking around online." Yoongi felt that was pretty obvious, based on everything he had done lately. Honestly, he'd almost fallen asleep on stream last week. Last week had been a bad week, or maybe it just seemed bad to him. Probably, he was a bit of a pessimist. "Listen, I don't--"
What was he even trying to say here? Maybe it was a language thing. Maybe he found it difficult to find any kind of words when looking at Cassiel's arms. Who had arms like that? What did he do to get those and could he watch him do it? He might have to check out his social media later. "You find someone else." There. That was English. Sort of.
"You always make music, are you nuts? Rap battles are music. And don't lie to me, I've heard you rap and it's something you wrote and made. You make music. And hey, man, the beats you use? Don't tell me you didn't sample and make it all yourself? Stop clowning." Rolling his eyes, he opened his beer bottle on the kitchen counter and took a long sip before smiling with a boyish charm, not deterred and certainly not scared off.
"Look, if you don't wanna do it seriously, that's fine. I ain't asking for that. What I want is to just experiment around, make beats, maybe just chat? Like music is my life, it's all I do and I love it, don't get me wrong but I wanna talk to someone who gets it. You get me?" Probably not. He seemed very not interested but as if that would stop him.
"...you are very--" He almost said annoying again, but instead he typed into a translator and finished with the suggested word. "--persistent."
What did he do with this? Seriously, one of the few good thing about leaving Korea had been the feeling of leaving his sexuality and his already messed up romantic relationships behind as well. Somehow it hadn't occurred until just now that America could have him feeling like a messy gay as well. "I guess we can talk."
There, that was something. "I'm no good at talking."
"I'm very persistent, I don't let go at all. We have a saying here, dunno how much English you know but it's like a dog with a bone. Won't let go of it." He growled like a dog and barked playfully, amusing himself plenty. Climbing up onto his kitchen counter, he picked up Yoongo so they were face height again - cause the view before had been all thighs and crotch.
"Let's talk, I'll send you my whatsapp and you send me yours, okay? Don't go cheating me out of your deets. If you change your mind and you really don't wanna then fine, I ain't gonna harass. There's a fine line there, I get that but I think you'll change your mind."
He would be a respectfully persistent stalker. "We'll be fast friends. Oh, I looked this up - chingu." Ha! Korean knowledge.
"Chingu? Why, what year were you born?" Yoongi wasn't sure, but he supposed that if Cassiel knew enough Korean to call him chingu, he might as well ask him that. And focus on that and try not to think about all the thighs and crotch shots he'd just been presented with. "I can send you my number, I guess. But I don't check my phone much."
Keep expectations low. Right now, he didn't want to deal with people expecting things from him. He already had his brothers to worry over.
"I was born the first day of March, 2004. Beautiful day, the sun came out to see me arrive - or so my grandma told me every year." With a playful smirk, he leaned back against the cabinet and sipped his beer, watching Yoongi's face carefully. Korea had that whole age thing, didn't they? Age gave authority. And he already checked, he and Yoongi should be around the same age so he was hoping that'd end any weirdness cause he had no idea how to handle that shit.
"It's fine, I'll blow up your phone regardless." He was joking but it was funny to watch Yoongi's eyes widen a little every time he panicked him - it was cute. Yoongi was cute. "Where do you live? Can I ask? Just the city or the state is fine."
"I won't tell you. My eomma would kill me." Ah. "My mother. She doesn't trust online stuff. She thinks it's all perverts. Maybe demons." Hard to tell, honestly. Although Yoongi did agree with the principle of not giving too much information to strangers. Even charming, same age strangers who seemed to be into men. Actually, especially those. That seemed like a huge risk.
"We are the same age." That was a bit weird. "I don't have many same age friends." He didn't even feel as if he had many friends at all, honestly. "Although my mother says it was raining that day and she found me under a bridge, so I dunno."
"Your mom sounds funny! She sounds like my grandma, she always told people she rescued me from the wild. I was a bit of a crazy kid, you know?" He was active, energetic and prone to trouble - she always accused him of being raised by dogs before she had him. "I already told you where I'm from, I'm a Georgia boy. For now, don't see much of a future out here and not just cause the property is ridic expensive. You see this place?"
He flipped his found around and showed Yoongi his living room/bedroom that was directly connected to his kitchen - one room open plan. He turned it back to himself. "$1000. A month. A freaking month, man. I'm glad I ain't paying it."
"We have a house," Yoongi said, before he could stop himself. Although he supposed 'a house' wasn't really the most descriptive thing to say anyway. Houses were everywhere, he wasn't about to acquire a stalker through that. Not that he really thought that Cassiel was about to stalk him. Probably just bored tonight, if he had to guess. "Your place looks nice. You live alone?"
He assumed so, unless he was living with someone he shared a bed with and then even that fake flirting seemed inappropriate.
"Oh yeah, all by my lonesome. King Solitude." He didn't sound thrilled about living alone but then, he was still readjusting. It wasn't that long ago that he had people in his life and in his home, that he had a better home, but he didn't mind it. He wasn't suffering as bad as some other kids he knew from the system. "I'm glad. If I shared this place, I guess I'd have to sleep on top of my roomie."
Soon he'd have to think about work and get some stuff in place but for now, it wasn't so bad. "You got a lot of family with you or just you and your mom?"
"My brothers. They are younger." No point hiding them, Jungkook had stormed in during a stream before to complain about him stealing his underwear - it had become a bit of a meme after that - and Kangwoo came in unprompted all the time, because boundaries didn't exist for that boy. "Jungkook and Kangwoo. Jungkook is in middle school, Kangwoo is tiny."
At least that's how it always felt to him. "But this basement is all mine." Slightly cramped, but still. He wasn't complaining.
"Two brothers? Aww, that's cute. Annoying though, I bet. Glad you got a space of your own. Real good for me, makes talking to you at 1am easier and -- oh shit, it's 2am now." He tsked lightly, glad that tomorrow was a Sunday. He was not waking up tomorrow, he'd just sleep until noon and see if he felt like moving or sleeping even more. "I would apologise for keeping you up but as I said before, I've seen your livestreams. You're always up. Me too."
He liked that, made the long nights feel a bit less lonely. "I do my best work this late, my neighbours hate me."
"Yeah. I don't sleep much." Although he loved sleeping, he really did. It was just not easy to get to a point where he could sleep. "I'd be up anyway. And tomorrow, Kangwoo's gonna wake me up so I can make him breakfast."
It was Sunday, so his brother demanded special breakfast and that meant hyung had to cook. Not that he really minded, sometimes it helped, just having a reason to get up. "I guess you make your own breakfast." Hm. "What do you eat for breakfast? Americans are weird with that."
"Uh, cereal? I dunno, I usually sleep through breakfast and then I eat ramen for lunch. If I'm up, it's cereal but my milk always runs out and ehhhh, it's tough." He didn't really bother with breakfast, seemed like too much effort for him. He didn't envy him having to get up and make food for people. "American's ain't that weird about breakfast... what do Korean's eat? Hang on."
He typed it into google and frowned, pulling a face. "Bro, that's a whole ass meal. Breakfast is supposed to be easy, there's so many things -- morning soup? You gotta make soup? Who has the time for that?"
"Most days I just have egg rice. Sometimes whatever else my mother might make." Yoongi shrugged. "On Sundays, I make breakfast, so my mother doesn't have to cook for a change. And I make enough banchan to last for most of the week. Er... Banchan are-- Side food? Dishes. Something."
He really should know that, but when he thought about food, his mind seemed stuck on Korean. "My youngest brother only eats some food when I make it. He's stubborn about it. So I have soup on the stove right now, I just warm it up in the morning. It's not a big deal. I've already set the rice cooker too..."
"We love to see a man who can cook. You go, big D. I can't cook much. I mean I can but like a small handful of stuff. You won't catch me cooking in the morning though. Most I've ever done is cereal." He smiled playfully and tried to imagine doing all of that in the morning - thank God he didn't have siblings, they seemed to have a lot of demands. He didn't have time for that shit.
"Well, I guess I should leave you to get some sleep before your little brother wakes you up for breakfast soup." Blergh. Sounded gross. "But I'm going to be calling you tomorrow so prepare yourself, okay?"
"We?" Who did he mean? Who loved to see it? Had to be an idiom or phrase, Yoongi tried to not get caught up on it, he just smiled a little and gave a nod, to be polite. That was usually best.
"I told you, I don't look at my phone much. But whatever." He supposed he should sleep. "Good night, I guess."
"I'm persistent, remember? You'll look sooner or later. Then I'll be there, waiting."
He whooped playfully as he slid off the kitchen counter and started walking across his apartment. "Tomorrow, me and you, we're gonna talk more about music. I want your top five rappers ready. Let's see if we have any matches." He grinned as he flopped onto his bed, bouncingh a little before sprawling out. "Gonna think of you in bed tonight, baby."
"Don't-- ugh." Whatever. Yoongi rolled his eyes and ended the call, not even sure what he was going to say. Don't call him baby, don't say things like that, because now he had to think about it. Think about someone who looked like that thinking of him.
Honestly, even in his fantasies he could only imagine that kind of guy being disappointed.
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If he wanted to call him 'baby', he could call him things too.
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He wasn't looking to rap with some loser teenage boys in their bedroom or some old has-been who had no awareness or talent.
"I want to make it, you do too. We should make beautiful music together."
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Whatever. Whatever, it didn't matter. "I don't do collabs." There, that was save to hide behind. "What are you doing?" It was weird, right? Had someone put him up to this? "Are you playing?"
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He wasn't sure what this guy meant. Maybe it was a language issue, he wasn't sure. "Uh, I wanted a collab. Working together on music, you know? That's what I'm doing. I'm failing but I'm trying." Laughing with a dash on uncertainty, he stood up suddenly and carried Yoongi along on his phone as he headed towards his fridge. He definitely needed something to drink for this conversation. "I don't play with beautiful boys like you unless they ask me too. Don't worry. Come on, Yoongi, bro. I think we sound good together. I can put the whole country schtick aside for you, promise."
He pulled a beer from the fridge and set Yoongi onto his kitchen table, raising his beer in a toast to him. "I want to do something fun while I kill time, I think music is ideal for that."
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What was he even trying to say here? Maybe it was a language thing. Maybe he found it difficult to find any kind of words when looking at Cassiel's arms. Who had arms like that? What did he do to get those and could he watch him do it? He might have to check out his social media later. "You find someone else." There. That was English. Sort of.
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"Look, if you don't wanna do it seriously, that's fine. I ain't asking for that. What I want is to just experiment around, make beats, maybe just chat? Like music is my life, it's all I do and I love it, don't get me wrong but I wanna talk to someone who gets it. You get me?" Probably not. He seemed very not interested but as if that would stop him.
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What did he do with this? Seriously, one of the few good thing about leaving Korea had been the feeling of leaving his sexuality and his already messed up romantic relationships behind as well. Somehow it hadn't occurred until just now that America could have him feeling like a messy gay as well. "I guess we can talk."
There, that was something. "I'm no good at talking."
no subject
"Let's talk, I'll send you my whatsapp and you send me yours, okay? Don't go cheating me out of your deets. If you change your mind and you really don't wanna then fine, I ain't gonna harass. There's a fine line there, I get that but I think you'll change your mind."
He would be a respectfully persistent stalker. "We'll be fast friends. Oh, I looked this up - chingu." Ha! Korean knowledge.
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Keep expectations low. Right now, he didn't want to deal with people expecting things from him. He already had his brothers to worry over.
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"It's fine, I'll blow up your phone regardless." He was joking but it was funny to watch Yoongi's eyes widen a little every time he panicked him - it was cute. Yoongi was cute. "Where do you live? Can I ask? Just the city or the state is fine."
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"We are the same age." That was a bit weird. "I don't have many same age friends." He didn't even feel as if he had many friends at all, honestly. "Although my mother says it was raining that day and she found me under a bridge, so I dunno."
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He flipped his found around and showed Yoongi his living room/bedroom that was directly connected to his kitchen - one room open plan. He turned it back to himself. "$1000. A month. A freaking month, man. I'm glad I ain't paying it."
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He assumed so, unless he was living with someone he shared a bed with and then even that fake flirting seemed inappropriate.
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Soon he'd have to think about work and get some stuff in place but for now, it wasn't so bad. "You got a lot of family with you or just you and your mom?"
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At least that's how it always felt to him. "But this basement is all mine." Slightly cramped, but still. He wasn't complaining.
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He liked that, made the long nights feel a bit less lonely. "I do my best work this late, my neighbours hate me."
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It was Sunday, so his brother demanded special breakfast and that meant hyung had to cook. Not that he really minded, sometimes it helped, just having a reason to get up. "I guess you make your own breakfast." Hm. "What do you eat for breakfast? Americans are weird with that."
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He typed it into google and frowned, pulling a face. "Bro, that's a whole ass meal. Breakfast is supposed to be easy, there's so many things -- morning soup? You gotta make soup? Who has the time for that?"
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He really should know that, but when he thought about food, his mind seemed stuck on Korean. "My youngest brother only eats some food when I make it. He's stubborn about it. So I have soup on the stove right now, I just warm it up in the morning. It's not a big deal. I've already set the rice cooker too..."
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"Well, I guess I should leave you to get some sleep before your little brother wakes you up for breakfast soup." Blergh. Sounded gross. "But I'm going to be calling you tomorrow so prepare yourself, okay?"
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"I told you, I don't look at my phone much. But whatever." He supposed he should sleep. "Good night, I guess."
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He whooped playfully as he slid off the kitchen counter and started walking across his apartment. "Tomorrow, me and you, we're gonna talk more about music. I want your top five rappers ready. Let's see if we have any matches." He grinned as he flopped onto his bed, bouncingh a little before sprawling out. "Gonna think of you in bed tonight, baby."
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Honestly, even in his fantasies he could only imagine that kind of guy being disappointed.