I caught it bad just today

[bluemold]

Comments

[bluemold]

...rly?

huh, must have texted the wrong number

[kingsolitude]

rude

I have a subject I'm passionate on so I'm being a good boy. Stayed up all last night studying it.

[bluemold]

cool, I stayed up not doing things

what is it?

[kingsolitude]

Learning Korean :D

naneun hagseubja
나는 학습자

[bluemold]

huh

Korean is difficult, you can just use a translator app

[kingsolitude]

Pfft, you know you're proud.

I wanna rap in Korean. Makes collabing easier.

Then we can rap about our pure and true love <3

You are the gdragon to my top

[bluemold]

I wish, can you imagine how my mother would love me?

though there scandals with them right now, so who knows

you are insane, by the way... rapping in English is hard enough

[kingsolitude]

I want to spread my words all over the world.

You know the feeling, don't pretend like you don't.

You rap in two languages.

[bluemold]

Yeah, and I sound like shit in English most the time... Fuck, I can say fuck.

English makes sense though. English is what they want to hear.

If you want people to listen to you.

[kingsolitude]

I like how you speak, think it sounds nice.

I love how growly your voice is but not in a gravel way, it's just ... like purring.

It's sexy.

Just like you, baby.

[bluemold]

yeeeeah, you're talking bullshit again

there's people saying I'm a cat though, so hey, if you are into that

meow.

[kingsolitude]

I don't talk shit, don't assume I do just cause you can't take a compliment, baby <3

Hey, so, do you like America?

How is it going, move wise?

[bluemold]

it's not that different from Korea

people notice me more

not fond of that

also, I'm so fucking short here

...I know I'm the same height, just

ugh

[kingsolitude]

Sorry that you stand out but I get it, it does suck. I wish I blended more too some days.

I hope it gets better for you.

How come you moved? Can I ask or is it personal?

[bluemold]

my father died and my mother thought that...

I guess mostly for Kangwoo's sake and because she wanted a fresh start

Kangwoo is autistic and that is tough in Korea

maybe she also thought it'd be good for me, I wasn't the best for a while before my father died

[kingsolitude]

Shit. I'm sorry, man. Didn't mean to open old wounded or anything.

Good for little Kangwoo, glad he's gonna get better help.

And if you ever want to talk about all that, I know what you're going through. I lost my grandmother early this year. My grandfather like two years back... my parents before that.

I know the feelings intimately.

[bluemold]

it's okay

I guess

I don't know, these things are never okay

sorry for your loss

I feel guilty because I don't know if I'd have changed the way I behaved back then if it wasn't for my father dying, because I had to shape up

I don't know

[kingsolitude]

It's never a good thing to lose someone.

Though it does remind you of priorities and who you truly want to be.

I don't know how you were but you should be proud of who you are now, man. You get up every day, even if you don't want to. You take care of your little bro, Kangwoo and your grumpy teenager, Jungkook.

Bet you take care of your mom too. And she needs that.

Just don't burn yourself out being the good son, yeah? Be proud of who you are but give yourself a break. It's okay to hurt and be angry sometimes. It's okay to be depressed. Happens to all of us.

The past is the past, baby. Don't dwell.

[bluemold]

I'm not that good. I just kinda try.

but I'm no longer drinking a lot by myself, so there's that

I know I've got depression, but, y'know, who has time for that?

both Kangwoo and Jungkook kind of break apart at the idea of me having problems

[kingsolitude]

I'm trying to do that, get less reliant on drink.

For me, the big one was drugs. After I lost my grandmother, I did a lot of the hard stuff but... I stopped. I wanna live my life. It's just nice to escape.

I guess to them, you're their pillar. They'll get it one day, when they're older.

[bluemold]

drugs are hard to get in Korea, or I'd have maybe done the same

good on you for stopping

for a while, I really wanted to drink myself to death, but I have things to do now, keep living

maybe, though Kangwoo might never... I don't know how much you know about autism

[kingsolitude]

I don't know much about autism. I know a bit?

Mostly what I gathered from youtube and twitter, probably not the best sources.

I follow someone who's autistic and they make some sick beats but... not my area.

Is it bad?

[bluemold]

he is still pretty young, so it's a bit early to properly assess the severity, but he is in a specialised school now and he's doing all right

I don't know

it's complicated... he's sweet, but he can't always express himself, he can't always look at people, he melts down a lot, he can be very unpredictable... he ran into traffic when he was three, got a call about that when I was at school

sometimes he goes days only communicating nonverbally

[kingsolitude]

Damn, that sounds tough.

He's the little boy you make food for, yeah? Kangwoodles. Guess he's super lucky to have a brother who loves him that much. Hopefully the special school will help him out.

Is it something that can improve or is it like coping with it? Bit like depression, I guess?

[bluemold]

it's a coping thing, and if he learns those coping strategies earlier, it can help avoid it becoming more severe

he used to be worse, honestly, the school is good for him

and all of it is tough on Jungkook, because he feels like he's an afterthought